You’ve seen it so many times. “My husband is a lazy, no good, worthless, womanizing, unfaithful, sorry excuse for a husband and father” is a common theme written and read every day on Facebook. That’s right. Facebook has become this country’s most available platform for passively accusing those you love with some of the most egregious accusations. This mainly happens because people have become acclimated to texting and emailing rather than talking face-to-face. It’s so much easier to type than to talk.

When did it start? Doesn’t matter. Why did it start? Doesn’t matter. What does matter is that we stop it. Passively addressing deeply embedded issues in our most intimate relationships should never be discussed on Facebook or any other public forum. Why? Because the Facebook therapist always fails miserably. Here are a few thoughts.

Facebook is for connecting not chastising

I love Facebook. You can go online and check out what others are doing and look at their vacation pictures. You can check out how their kids continue to grow up so quickly and when they eventually get married. You can even check out some of the newest and most hidden recipes. BUT, when you turn a connecting tool into a chastising tool, things can go south very quickly. To be honest, people generally do not like public chastisement. If you have a spouse who is doing something that you don’t like, quit chastising him/her in a public forum. It’s really awkward for other to have to read about it and it’s hurtful for your spouse. Just talk with them face-to-face.

Facebook is for encouraging, not embarrassing

Want to improve your relationships? Quit embarrassing your spouse online. Want to improve your family relationships? Quit passively posting pictures of saying and quotes that refer to others who may have hurt you. First, it doesn’t make sense because the only thing it does is tell others that you are unwilling to confront those who hurt you. Second, it is often so general that it could actually hurt the wrong people. Whenever you try to use Facebook as your therapist when dealing with relationships, you are using a failed therapist. Facebook was never created to be some kind of therapist.

The best way to handle relationships is to try and embarrass others. That always works! People LOVE to be embarrassed. In fact, once you embarrass your husband or wife because of their perceived faults, they will certainly come back running towards you with tears in their eyes and beg for forgiveness. They will lay prostrate on the floor begging and begging for your kindness towards them. Can you feel the cynicism? Embarrassment is never a good way to handle relationship difficulties. In fact, embarrassing comments on Facebook often come back to haunt those who posted them. Why is this so? Keep reading…..

Facebook is not your therapist

So many people rely on Facebook to heal their emotional wounds by posting hateful and degrading things about others. While this may help them to feel better for some short period of time, it really does make them seem childish and petty. Am I hitting a nerve yet? Yes. I did say childish and petty. Facebook fails its patients miserably because it is no substitute for face-to-face and personal communication. Facebook has created a sandbox for those who hate personal conversation and confrontation. This sandbox is a great place for these people to play, but their problems continue once they step out of the sandbox. So what’s next?

  • Quit airing your dirty laundry and relationship issues in a public setting.
  • Speak to others in a forum other than social media.
  • Take ownership of the problem even if the offending party chooses not to do so. If they choose not to address things and reconcile, then you have to make a decision based on a simple question. Is the relationship important enough to forgive their sin and allow God to deal with it in His timing, or is the relationship unimportant and just an unnecessary nuisance in your life? The answer to that question will give you the motivation to do what is necessary.
  • Practice Matthew 18:15-18. God’s advice is always the best!