For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:10
Falling is not a comfortable feeling. I’ve had five lower back surgeries, and my balance is sometimes compromised when I lean in one direction. It’s been said that I sometimes fall with no notice, and there is nothing I can do about it. Does it scare me? A little. I’m just being honest with you. At my old age of 51, I can’t afford to fall and break bones (lol). But, what concerns me more is how to get up from the fall.
Here’s an even better example. I was at the beach over this past weekend and sat in one of those low-rider sand chairs. There were only about 2 inches from my backside and the sand. When it was time for me to get out of the seat, there were two options. I could roll out of the chair onto the sand and crawl until I found something to hold on to, or I could ask my wife, Lari if she would come over and give me a hand. Yes. She was gracious and gave me a hand. Otherwise, I may have been washed out to sea and never be heard from again.
This is the way relationships work.
Falling is Inevitable
If you’ve lived life any amount of time, you realize falling is not optional. It is only a matter of time when you hit the wall and emotionally or physically fall. These are challenging times and often filled with uncertainty and despair. No one enjoys those times on the ground while looking at the successes of others while trying to figure out how to escape your situation.
I’ve been there, but not alone.
I can’t imagine going through one of those rough times without my wife. She is my “first responder” when things go haywire. And you know, when I tend to fall it is because I made bad decisions. Can you trace those times in your life to poor choices on your part? I bet you can.
Falling Nurtures Friendships
There is no doubt that when you fall. It can be very fearful. The kind of falling mentioned here is a sudden physical falling to the ground or a sudden fall from a position of influence. Either way, there is a possibility of some kind of discouragement seeping into your soul. And when this happens, aloneness is not the cure. Solomon says that there is no wisdom in going through life alone with no one to encourage you.
Who is your encourager? Who is the one who picks you up when there is a sudden fall in your life? We all need a “lifters” in our lives who come to our rescue and provides help in times of trouble. Solomon calls this person a fellow. The translation of that word is a friend. So it is clear that we should have friends.
Is everyone good with that?
I realize that there are some people reading this who believe they can make it alone in the world today. You might survive, but you won’t thrive without the help of a friend. This friend could be a spouse or other person who can lift you when you suddenly experience hardship. Who is your “first responder?”
Falling is Educational
If you fall and fail to learn from it, it was a wasted trip into the pit. Do you understand what I’m saying here? If you make a poor decision and end up on the ground, you shouldn’t make that decision again. That would be a picture of someone who did not learn from the fall and repeatedly ends up needing help.
Learn from your mistakes and hardships. Get better at life, not more dependent on others.
Flipping the Coin
So how are you at lifting others? Did you see what I did there? Are you good at being that friend who is there to help your friend when they are spiritually, emotionally, or physically down? You see, encouragement is not a one-way street where you only receive without ever giving help. The kind of dependency I think Solomon refers to is a co-dependent kind of relationship with others we know we can count on in our times of trouble. But this means we should also provide that encouragement? How are you at this? I know. You may be saying that it just isn’t your cup of tea or the way you’ve been wired.
Maybe it’s time the rewire the house! Perhaps it’s time to be the lifter and not the lifted. When you see the need, fix the need.