Coney Island is known for many things. The rides, the beaches, a place where dreams are made, and hot dogs. I’m sitting here today and trying to figure out what the purpose is in a Hot Dog Eating Contest. Each contestant is introduced with music as if it were the NBA Finals. Wall-to-wall people screaming as if Ali and Fraser were about to fight it out. Believe it or not, some estimates are 20,000 or more people standing inches away from each other sharing sweat and air. For what? To see people shovel dozens of hot dogs and buns in their mouths only to win a cheap imitation of a Pro Wrestling belt, 10 minutes of ESPN fame, and a night in the bathroom. Oh yeah, don’t forget the $10,000 that will eventually be used for the tummy tuck. Sounds worth it to me. Oh the fame. Imagine their status on Facebook……..”About to make myself and thousands of others sick to their stomach as I chow down on 68 hot dogs and buns!” I’d hit “like” on that one for sure.
The countdown is on and the grossness begins. Let the shoving start. Juice running down their cheeks, stomachs expanding, red stains on their hands, dipping buns in water, and thousands of people cheering. Clearly, the amusement rides must be broken and the sharks are keeping people away from the water. There must not be anything else to do in Coney Island today. Maybe the boardwalk? Parasailing? Jet ski? Boogie board? Maybe some air conditioning? I already can’t wait until next year. I’m already looking at the rates from Spirit Air and possible hotel packages. Maybe I can get our whole family there and we can stand with 20,000 other people, exchanging sweat, and fight the crowd for a front row seat. Although, that could actually be a bit messy. I’m thinking that would be a great family Christmas gift.
So the contest is over. I actually found myself cheering for the winner to break the world record. “GO, GO, GO…..JUST ONE MORE! JUST ONE MORE!” I think I’m sick. By the way, the commentator compared the winner of the hot dog eating contest to Michael Jordan. Really? What has happened to our country? We think that we have political issues? In fact, he also said, “I am overcome right now.” Seriously? Witnessing a military fly over, an amazing fireworks display, a boat parade, patriotically decorated golf carts, or the electric light parade in Disney is “overcome” worthy. But, a man eating 68 hot dogs? Probably not.
A special thanks to all those who have given their lives, currently serve, or have served in the armed forces in the past. Thank you for serving your country unselfishly so that we can live in amazing freedom. As Lee Greenwood sang it,
If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life. And I had to start again, with just my children and my wife.
I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin here today. ‘Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away.
And I’m proud to be an American, where at least I know I’m free. And I wont forget the men who died, who gave that right to me.
And I gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land, God bless the USA.
What a privilege to have been born in America. We have freedom to worship God, freedom from tyranny, and freedom to watch a very hungry, obviously single, half-crazed man eat 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes!
Happy Fourth of July!