Regardless of your position in a church, I’m confident that you often find yourself wearing the mediator cap in the middle of a disagreement. Disagreement happens when people have a difference of opinion over almost any issue. Usually, disagreement, when handled correctly, will not move to the critical level of conflict. Basically, conflict is the result of unresolved disagreement that turns personal. While disagreement is healthy in relationships because it causes personal growth, conflict is unhealthy because it causes relational chaos.
Here are a few thoughts about disagreement:
Ignore it because it will eventually go away
Disagreement is like cancer. If you ignore it, it will eventually go away. This statement could be no farther from the truth. Oftentimes, we find ourselves in some neverland dreaming that disagreement will resolve itself. In some cases it may, but in most cases it will not resolve without a huge dose of humility. Unresolved disagreement eventually turns into full-blown conflict. The leader who ignores conflict usually has insecurities when working with others and does not like to engage in threatening situations.If you address disagreement when it is birthed, conflict does not have time or reason to grow.
Allow it to grow because it is not a huge issue
Sometimes, we think disagreements over small issues are not important to resolve. Disagreement, regardless of size, should be resolved as quickly as it can, because it is important to not allow Satan to gain a foothold in our relationships. The leader who is not interested in resolution usually struggles with procrastination, is somewhat passive, and lacks wisdom when trying to work through the disagreement.
Crush it because that is how good leaders operate
Some leaders thrive on disagreement. It is the stuff champions are made of! Not so fast! Intimidation is one of the worst ways to resolve disagreement. Intimidation actually increases disloyalty in the workplace, your church, and your family. This type of leader is usually very self-confident and doesn’t like to admit their faults. Leaders who resolve disagreements like this, are probably losing followers.
Compromise because you can’t win unless you give up something
Another myth is to compromise. Approaching disagreement from a compromise position does not allow the option that one of the people in the disagreement may actually be right. If they are, then compromise will mean they must give up their position. That doesn’t seem fair. The leader who approaches resolution through compromise is one who is very relational and does not want to hurt any feelings.
Collaborate because it’s the best solution
This solution allows you to sit down and seek out the best spiritually and Scripturally based solution. Collaboration takes more time and effort to work. Give it time and see how God uses His word to transform your disagreements into Spirit-filled relationships! Remember, the best foundation for collaboration is to constantly develop healthy relationships with those you lead. Leaders who collaborate demonstrate their willingness to invest in the relational aspect of resolution.