Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten. – unknown
There is nothing in this world that gets me in more trouble than what I say. For some reason, I choose the most inopportune times to say some of the dumbest things. Generally, it happens in my marriage, but sometimes it creeps out of my house and into my friendships and other situations. I’ve always been impulsive like that and know that I should gauge my words and timing much better, but at 52 years old, it is still an area where I tend to struggle most.
It’s unhealthy, tears down, and discards grace to those who need it the most.
We hurt others with our speech because we don’t think
I know what you’re saying. “I do think about what I’m going to say.” And you might have this part of your life mastered. But examine your heart and intentions. Sometimes things pour out of our mouths like honey and at other times like poison. In today’s society, hurtful words are a new part of everyday vocabulary. It’s the culture, and it’s how people tend to relate to one another. Has it become part of your speech?
Just watch news shows and sitcoms to see how the conversations go. People tear down other people with disregard to how those words hurt others. They don’t think. Again, I’m talking about myself as well. When our emotions get the best of us and go unchecked, our speech becomes a small fire that sets ablaze a forest (James 3:5).
However, when we think before we speak, we build others up and gives grace that others need. Think before you speak.
We hurt others with our speech because we don’t care
This is the one that bothers me the most. Some people in the world don’t care what they say. They say it and hurt others, and it gives them a false strength and authority. Narcissistic people have a challenging time in this area because they seek to achieve power at any cost while abusing those around them verbally. That means treating their coworkers like pawns in a chess match and only seeing them as valuable when they are useful to increase the leader’s power and prestige. When they are no longer useful, there is no coming back. These kinds of leaders don’t care what they say to their employees as long as it increases the leader’s status. So they use words to invoke fear in their employees. This is sad, lacks grace, and displays a “don’t care” attitude.
I remember talking to a much older person than I was many years ago. He told me he had lived long enough to say what he thought. He didn’t care who heard it, and the outcome didn’t bother him. He didn’t care. Do you care how your speech comes across and how it makes a difference in others’ lives?
We hurt others with our speech because we don’t love
The primary motivation for our speech should be our love for Jesus and our love for others. We should “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). That’s easier said than done for sure. This one hurts a little because we would like to think that we love the Lord with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind. But when we begin to peel the layers back, maybe that is where the problem starts. Just maybe we haven’t figured out the loving God part yet.
You see, you can’t appropriately love your neighbor until you can adequately love God. It doesn’t work in reverse. True love for our neighbors is a result of authentic love for our God. That’s right. There is no other way to do it.
So if we appropriately love God and appropriately love our neighbors, then our speech will build up and not tear down. It will not be filled with corruption, but rather words that encourage and provide grace to the hearer. Who are you giving grace to today through your speech?